Bill Gates

*~ **Bill Gates** ~*
*This should be posted in every school or kid's bedroom.*
*Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this**!*



*Bill Gates* recently gave a speech at a High School about
eleven (11) things they did not and will not learn in school.
He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings
created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and
how this concept set them up for failure in the real world


*Rule 1** **:* Life is not fair - get used to it! *
* *
**Rule 2** **:* The world doesn't care about your self-esteem.
The world will expect you to accomplish something
BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

*Rule 3** **:* You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school.
You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

*Rule 4** **:* If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss

*Rule 5* *:* Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity.
Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping:
*They called it opportunity.**
*
*Rule 6** **:* *If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault,*
so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.*
*
*Rule 7** **:* *Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring*
*as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills,*
*cleaning your clothes and listening to you*
*talk about how cool you thought you were*
*So before you save the rain forest*
*from the parasites of your parent's generation,*
*try delousing the closet in your own room..*
*Keep yourself clean. **
**
**Rule 8** **:* Your school may have done away with winners and losers,
but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades
and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer.
*This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.*
*
*Rule 9** **: *Life is not divided into semesters.
You don't get summers off and very few employers
are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF.
*Do that on your own time.

*Rule 10** **:* *Television is NOT real life.*
*In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.*
*
*
*Rule 11* : *Be nice to nerds.*
*Chances are you'll end up working for one..*




*If you can read this**.... Thank a Teacher.*
*If you can read this in English**.... Thank a Soldier!*
*And for life and everything else you have**.... Thank Your Parents!!*

Now... think about this and smile if you agree and please pass this on...*
If you don't agree, go stick your head in the sand and take a deep breath!*

Retarded Muzium Negara

Retarded Muzium Negara

By John Doe  -   August 2011

It's one thing not-to-know. It's quite another thing to pretend-to-know, and pretend “educate” the masses. I am referring to Muzium Negara. Yes, the newly renovated Muzium which cost the Taxpayers Millions of Dollars.

I deliberately stopped there, during my very recent visit to Malaysia. I was aghast at some of the exhibits. This message goes out to En. Kamarul Baharin A. Kasim. Your Muzium may look pretty today, but sorely lacks any credibility whatsoever. The Devil is in the details. So, here's my “Satanic Verse” to you.

The very first exhibit displays Pangaea. Do you not know that discussing Pangaea is a subservient attack on the Koran?  All Judaeo-Christian-Islamic “Holy Books” state that the World is merely 6,000 odd years old. The Pangaea date starts at the 250million year mark. Is your Arithmetic so bad not to know the difference? Are you a closet Atheist? No? Why not show the entire Human Family Tree while you're at it then? Why just an Orang Utan? Afraid to lose your job? Hankering for a Datukship? Fat chance !!

Next, behind the exhibit of the Human Evolution model, is Perak Man. Yes. The one which spent years in Japan, because Malaysians were deemed unfit to do any real study on real research work. Perak Man is the flagship of Zuraina Majid's career.  However, she fails to explain why Perak Man is older than Adam and Hawa (Eve). Perak Man is touted to be 10,500 years old. This makes him circa 4,000 years older than Adam and Eve. Strange isn't it? Alright, “I believe, therefore it's true”.

Do you really know what any discussion on Pangaea really means?

Why isn't Niah Man (actually Woman) on display as well? She is 40,000 years old, and deserves a far more important spot than Perak Man. I know ! It's because she was discovered by Tom Harrison, and NOT Zuraina Majid. That's why! Also important to note, that Niah Woman is 34,000 years older than Adam and Eve. You want old? Go no further than the island of Jowo. The homeland of Java-Man (and most Peninsular “malays”). He is 1.8 million years old !! In fact, he is 1.7999 million years older than Adam and Eve. To be precise, he is the oldest homo erectus found in Southeast Asia. Not important? Alright... What about Peking Man? He is also much older than Adam and Eve; at least by 125,000 years.

Zuraina, synchronize Evolution, Cambrian, Paleozoic, Paleolithic, and the stone tools from Kg Temelong which you claim is close to 200,000 years old with the 6,000 History as provided in the Koran, Biblios, and the Torah. Are you a closet Atheist too? Should Jais pay you a visit? What now? you provide all those dates, but claim to be a Muslim? Does your left hand not know what your right is doing?  Hear Ye, UMNO, strip Zuraina of her titles, and relinquish her job, and dissolve the Archaeology department, if you are a True Muslim.  She is subserviently promoting Evolution !!  Earth is NOT 13.5 billion years old. It is merely 6,000 years, as per what the Holy Books say it is ! Alright, “I believe, therefore it's true”.

If you want to do an evolution display, then do it right. Not half baked, like the one which you have on display. What will you tell people next? That Adam and Eve are Malay? Or that Adam and Eve started UMNO? It gets worse... believe me.

The display of Painted-Cave at Niah suggests that Adam and Eve were also cavemen. They also fail to detail that the boats used to bury the dead are also found in Lao, Thailand, West Sumatera, as well as in Burma, thus, providing ample evidence of such migration, thus, completely diluting the “pendatang” name-tag. Oh, and by the way, the life-size model is so wrong, if compared to the actual painted cave behind The West Cave. Consult Tun Ipoi Datan at the Kuching Muzium if you need help with this. Also, where are the wooden boats for burial? They are completely missing from your depiction.

Adam and Eve were Cavemen. Therefore, God also looked like a caveman.

The rest of the spicy details, I will reserve for my book. And yes, I do have pictures. In fact, I have more than 40,000 pictures collected over the past 4 years. Alas, only 600 will make it for publication.

Another down-played display, is the Dongsong Drum, originating from North Vietnam. Malaysia found more than 200 of such drums, most of them complete, but on display is one pathetic cover. Where are the rest of the 199 Vietnamese Drums? Want to look at Singapore's HUGE drum collection from all over Southeast Asia? 

Where are the more than 200 Dong-Song Drums found in Malaysia?

Little is known, that the Dong-Song Drums are actually proof that the Vietnamese had arrived in Malaysia from over 3,000 years ago, and along with them, brought their craft. Speaking of the Vietnamese, the Stone-Slab Grave from Perak (replica, also in front of Taiping Muzium) is so strikingly similar to the Hmong graves found in abundance all over Indochina.

The “tripod bowl” found in Kodiang, Kedah is also typical, of the thousands found in Ban Kao, of western Thailand, in the Kanchanaburi Province. This again, clearly shows that the Thais were all over Malaya before UMNO was born.  Wanna see maps which tag the Peninsular as “Tanah Siam”?

The transcript of the Lembah Bujang exhibit is also very interesting. It translates as 

“Early Malay Kingships”

Early Malay Kingships existed before the 14th Century. Amongst the well-known are the Langkasuka, and Kedah. Based on Chinese records, Langkasuka existed before the 2nd Century, based in Patanni...” and so on.

Here's the bait and switch. They specifically mentioned “Chinese Records”. And this was from BEFORE the 2nd Century. How is this even possible if the Chinese were not here? Did the Chinese just read the Twitter or Facebook writings of the malays?  For the Chinese to write about Lembah Bujang, they had to have been here since then. Plain and simple. Pendatang? Alright, now that 400,000 have left, UMNO is begging them to come back. What on earth for? To continue to burn their Churches, and mock that they worship King Kong?

Muzium Negara states that the Chinese were here since the 2nd Century?

The display on Malacca is another pathetic one. As I've mentioned before, and firmly maintain, that Malacca sorely lacks any credible empirical evidence. Some blogger had suggested that a Chinese Collar and and Indian knife in someone's private collection is proof of Malacca. “I believe, therefore, its true”. Sure. Whatever... “I believe, and therefore, it's true...”

Well, consider this. If alongside the above items, & 4 coins in moderate condition, provide the only evidence for an Empire, then, the evidence for this alleged “Great Empire” is pretty lame! Well, ok, you also have Tun Lanang's writing, which is 200 years after-the-fact. However, if I wrote, and then buried the following sentence; “Najib is a Mongolian Murderer, and likes to screw her in the ass”, and someone dug it up 700 years later, does finding the document make it true? Alright, bad example.... pass.

In fact, since the last article, how many of you have visited Pulau Besar in the straits of Malacca?  There are over 1,000 Hindu graves there. Could not they be empirical evidence of Malacca? I see, you mean that it would severely distort the “History” (read as “blatant lies”) which UMNO wants you to study. What if those graves are reserved for Royalty? What if the original Sultans were in fact Raja's, as in Maharaja's, and remained Hindu throughout their lives. Poor people cannot afford lavish graves. These 1,000 graves are not of ordinary people. They are certainly of the rich. Go see it for yourself, and post pictures alongside your thoughts.

In fact, there are far more items in any single tiny site of little-known Beruas than the Great &  Magnificent Malacca. Look at them yourself in Muzium Negara, or at the Beruas Muzium, if you have the time. The Beruas Muzium is right across the street from the Beruas Police Station; nested on a small hillock. 

Still on Malacca, the “pseudo Hologram” map below attempts show that Malacca was the centre of Southeast Asia. I present to you, the famous Magellan map, which clearly shows how he completely skipped Malacca, as if it either never existed, nor had heard of. 

Magellan's Map puts Malacca on the furthest possible corners, and summarily does NOT go there at all.

Muzium Negara launches scud missiles at Malacca with their very own map on display at Muzium Negara. It is absurd to note that Islam “originated” from Malacca !! Seeing this HUGE Map on display almost made me puke on the Dummies. 

This was the most absurd map in Muzium Negara.

Here's the sequence of events, for the sadly uninitiated:

1) Islam was brought to this area by the Gujerati.

2) It landed in Pasai in the 9th Century

3) It was then brought to Champa in the 10th Century.

4) The Cham people brought Islam to Peninsular Malaysia in the 11th Century.

5) It was spread to Brunei by the 11th and 12th Century, and then, onward to the Philippines.

6) It was also spread from Aceh to Sumatera Barat in the 11th and 12th Century.

7) Later, it went southwards to Celebes Island. 

All this happened before Malacca was “born”.  And if all these locations were already Muslim, what significance is Malacca's spread? It's like teaching fish to swim. What crap is this map showing? Jais Police who went to Dangdut in neighboring countries? Well, Muzium Negara did get one, and only one detail right. It was the spread of Islam from Malacca to the Semarang area. That was because Malacca partnered with Chek Kok Poh, the then Sultan of the “Chinese-Muslim Demak Empire” to attack and conquer north-central Jowo. The rest, pure unadulterated crap. It is shameful to see such blatant lies. What will they think of next? That the Prophet Muhammad (saw) was a Malay who went to Medina? Gosh !!  This is as lame as TBH strangled himself, and then his dead body decided to  jump out of the 14th floor window. I quote Tun Dr Pornthip, “Are you a real Lawyer?”

I call your attention to this wall of maps. There are 7 on display here. If Muzium Negara had a Map pre-dating the British which labelled the Peninsular as “Tanah Melayu”, I'm damned sure that they would have put it on display already. Sadly, there is none.

Is there a single Map which pre-dates the British with "Tanah Melayu"?

Now another exhibit, titled “Figurehead of Royal Boat”. And that figurehead is a Chinese Dragon. This is impressive !! Are they trying to tell us that The Muslim Royalty has no qualms about putting the head of a Naga on their Royal Boat? Mind you, that this is merely “more than a century old”, as the inscription plainly states. What happened to "I will CHOP your f**king China-Kui Head off"?

Dragon Heads on Royal Boats?

On a more sinister note, I am openly questioning why the Muzium Negara decides to place Sultan Abu Bakar of Johor in the “Penjajah Section” ? Is this some unspoken subtlety here? Does he know something which we do not? After all, we all know that the Johore Royal Line is NOT of the Malaccan Line. They are Pendatangs from Sulawesi, called the Bugis. Is  En. Kamarul Baharin A. Kasim as secret Jewish conspirator then? or maybe a hired hand of Apco? Maybe he even has two MyKads, or three... who knows?

Wanna speak about blatant error? Go no further than the display on the Japanese attack on Malaysia during WWll. The picture show Aircraft Carriers, Zero-Sen planes bombing, just like a scene from Pearl Harbour. The truth of the matter was, they used bicycles, and invaded Malaysia in a mere 10 days. There were no aircraft carriers, no bombs, no air-raids. None! Just good “ole' basikal”. Long Live “Ketuanan Jepang” !! 

Newspaper headlines “Japanese BMX Squad invades Malaysia like a hot knife to butter”. As a result, the 4 northern states became part of Thailand once again. Anyone from there can tell you that they had to raise both the Japanese and Thai Flag, and sing both national anthems, instead of Mamula Moon, err, I mean Terang Bulan, err, I mean Negaraku.

One more exhibit; the Duit Emas. I don't know who you “malays” paid this Golden Tree to, but it was surely not to “the King of Siam in Bangkok since the 14th Century”.  My “malay” friends, you have been completely suckered.

You see, in the 14th Century, Bangkok was not even founded yet. In fact, it was not founded until the year 1768. Just then, like now, no one really knows where Malaysian Tax-Payers Money really goes. Lastly, it was definitely NOT symbol of friendship, but it was Tax money paid to the Thais.

You see, Malaya belonged to Thailand. All of the Peninsular, including Singapore; then known as Temasik. And this was Tax Money paid to Ayodthaya. This Tax Money had to be paid, or else the Thais would come and kill the leaders. Think of it as “Protection Money”. Malaya, clearly belonged to the Thais. And so did Kota Gelanggi. Btw, anyone has an update of the 30ft Buddha statue they found there?

The next problem is this. If this began in the 14th Century, Malacca was not yet in existence yet either, then how come Malacca is always taught as the origins of Malaysia? Was Adam and Eve from Malacca? And further proof that there existed Kingdoms before Malacca is in the Batu Bersurat Terengganu, which is circa 300 years older than Malacca. And, similar stones comes from the Kingdom of Champa in Central Vietnam. This further reinforces the fact that Islam came from Champa to the Peninsular, and NOT Malacca, as per what local Pseudo-Historians claim it to be.

“Malaysian are really like Mushrooms. Always kept in the dark, and continuously fed shit.” 

(and you can quote me on that)

I'll end this short piece with a picture, to illustrate how confused UMNO really is...

As they say, a picture speaks a thousand words. BTW, this is image is not 'photoshopped'. Please pay 20 sen to see this yourself. It's behind the fire engine, on the rear-side of Muzium Negara, up a short flight of stairs.

Set as favorite

Comments (18)

mikewang, August 15, 2011 05:35:14

UMNO promises to bring them back to their glorious past, never mind if those are imaginations to start with.
That is why it is difficult to defeat a party which bank on the supremacy of the majority race, as long as it has total control of the media and government institutions to spread lies.
It took a world war for Hitler to be defeated.
It also took many generations for apartheid to be over in South Africa and in many parts of the United States of America.

 

Revolution, August 13, 2011 01:10:59

I visited the muzium last year with my wife. She is the 5th generation of Malaysian chinese.
She left the museum in tears ...

 

earthman, August 12, 2011 14:09:55

John Doe must have entered the wrong museum.  Muzium Negara is along Petaling street. He must have entered Muzium Melayu Umno?  The discrepancies are so obvious that even a Mat Salleh noticed it.

 

ViewAct, August 12, 2011 14:08:13

Be prepared to find all our museums going under renovation again - purpose, to remove evidences that this is NOT TANAH MELAYU and that Malays are NOT the bumiputera ... the same way they removed Hang Tuah from history book...

By the way, we're going to have an Indonesian PM one day, after they keep giving MyKads to indonesian illegal immigrants here.  Satu Malaysia!!! + Indonesia!!!!

 

NSTPravda, August 12, 2011 12:02:03

Normally I will not have time to waste on someone with a $tupid name like "John Doe", but lest I am accused of caring only about commission gathering, I a compelled to retort all these kafir wild allegations which are wholly untrue. Here are some retort$ that are only at least partly untrue:

(Where are the rest of the 199 Vietnamese Drums?)
They were stolen by some kafir rank and files and will soon be arrested.

(Wanna look at Singapore's HUGE drum collection from all over Southeast Asia?)
So, the infidel Singies have a few more drums... big deal, we have big trumpets to blow on. Eat your hearts out, singies.

(Alright, now that 400,000 have left, UMNO is begging them to come back. What on earth for? To continue to burn their Churches, and mock that they worship King Kong?)
Hey, without these infidel cina kui pendatangs we will have no one to blame... it is my stroke of genius to invite them back for cash and for blaming.

(“I believe, therefore, its true”. Sure. Whatever... “I believe, and therefore, it's true...”)
Ok, I concede that you got us here, now in UMNO we will institue "I believe, even if it is not true. Starting with Ugutsan Malay$ia." So this shows how responsive and flexible I1Mor is when it comes to priniples.

("In fact, since the last article, how many of you have visited Pulau Besar in the straits of Malacca? There are over 1,000 Hindu graves there.") Wow! No kidding, I thought PDRM just killed Kugan and one or two other kelings... 1,000? They deserve a bonus.

(It is absurd to note that Islam “originated” from Malacca !!)
Well, we used a bit of artistic licence there. Actually, FLOM Ro$mak thought it is better to say that Islam originated from Putrajaya wearing USD25 million diamonds with matching Birkin bag as an accesory, but we modestly declined that "arahan".

(Is there a single Map which pre-dates the British with "Tanah Melayu"?)
Of course there is, we are currently manufacturing it, a work in progress.

So, Altutantuya-lah, henceforth Muzium will immortalized a fragment of C4 of how your legendary 1Leader blow back the pregnat Mongolian hordes of invaders. Dollar akbar!

 

bkho, August 12, 2011 11:22:11

hahaha, so well written, and funny too.
It's time that the BN stopped trying to feed shit into our childrens' minds through blatant lying about history.

 

Ken Liew, August 12, 2011 11:11:56

HE who forgets History.. and not meant to lead... He who lead, MUST know own history even others.
May the qualify leader please stand up~!

 

bambooman, August 12, 2011 10:37:13

Dear John Doe,
Please be advised that this Kamarul Baharin A. Kasim is a "graduate" from Malaysian Mara University and Biro Tata Negara ! ! !......therefore he is "half-baked" ! ! !

Pope John Paul II

Pope John Paul II

Believe it and you shall be blessed.

You don't need to be Catholic to appreciate the power of this message and prayer.

Please scroll all the way down for the prayer of the faithful.



We don't know why John Paul II wanted to hide this picture for years. The Vatican published this picture recently, for first time. This picture was taken by one of his security guards just when the Pope was attacked and was falling down in his Papamobil. You can see the pain in his face.

Take a look at the above picture. You can see Mother Mary holding John Paul II in Her arms when he was shot in 1981. This happened on May 13, 1981. Pope John Paul II was shot as he arrived in St. Peter's Square to speak to the people who had gathered there. When he was shot, he was holding the rosary, which he always carried. When he fell to the ground, out of nowhere, a woman rushed to his side and embraced him. That pic is shown above. The picture is said to have been taken by one of the gathered people who was busy taking Pope's pics with his camera. The woman vanished as quickly as she appeared.

The gunman was apprehended in the square and sentenced to life in prison. The pope was critically wounded but survived after surgery and a long recovery. The surprising fact is that all the bullets passed just past his vital internal organs. When he recovered finally, the first thing Pope asked for was his rosary. When he got it in his hands, he said that he felt Mother Mary directing the bullet's path through him. Sure, John Paul II was always in the habit of praying the rosary regularly. He had once said the best prayer I like is the Rosary.

Joaquin Navarro Valls, who is the one spokesman from The Vatican, said that they made a lot of studies for years of this incredible picture and of course about the quality of the developing of the picture because when it was developed nobody could see very well because the image was not clear. Finally, and after so many controls and by looking and checking by all the experts in photography (around the world), they decided that there were no tricks in it and today they give us this beautiful gift from our Mother of God. You can see the Mother of God holding John Paul II in her arms. Beautiful right?

I don't know whether You will believe me or not. But many do.. And among those who believed, Bishop Thomas Wenski recreated the picture on a glass window at his Florida residence. You can see that below.



PLEASE READ WITH FAITH.

This is an awesome prayer.
Believe it and you shall be blessed.
The problem with many of us is that we don't believe that God will open a window and pour out blessings that we won't have room to receive them. I dare anyone to try God. He is true to His word. God cannot lie and His promises are sure.
Three things will happen to you this coming week:
(1) You will find favor with someone you don't expect;
(2) You will be too relevant to be ignored;
(3) You will encounter God and you will never remain the same again.
My prayer for you today:


The eyes beholding this message shall not behold evil, the hands that will send this message to others shall not labor in vain, the mouth saying Amen to this prayer shall laugh forever. Remain in God's love as you send this prayer to everybody on your list. Have a lovely journey of life! Trust in the Lord with all your heart and He will never fail you because He is AWESOME!
If you truly need a blessing, continue reading this email:

Heavenly Father, most Gracious and Loving God, I pray to you that you abundantly bless my family and me. I know that you recognize, that a family is more than just a mother, father, sister, brother, husband and wife, but all who believe and trust in you. Father, I send up a prayer request for blessings for not only the person who sent this to me, but for me and all that I have forwarded this message on to. And that the power of joined prayer by those who believe and trust in you is more powerful than anything. I thank you in advance for your blessings.

Dear Lord, deliver the person reading this right now from debt and debt's burdens. Release Your Godly wisdom that I may be a good steward over all that You have given me Lord, for I know how wonderful and mighty You are and how if we just obey You and walk In Your word and have the faith of a mustard seed that You will pour out blessings. I thank You now Lord for the recent blessings I have received and for the blessings yet to come, because I know You are not done with me yet. In Jesus' name, I pray.
Amen.

TAKE 60 SECONDS and send this on quickly and within hours, you will have caused a multitude of people to pray to God for each other.

Then sit back and watch the power of God work in your life for doing the thing that you know He loves. Remain blessed!

The world's sexiest accents are from these countries

The world's sexiest accents are from these countries

In the unending pursuit of love, or its less eternal surrogate, the right accent can be as attractive as bright eyes, a beaming smile and a parabolic backside.

For world travelers, a far-flung tongue promises the unknown, confirms the known and dispels the thought-we-knew.

Does our highly scientific survey exclude your favorite accent? Vote on our Facebook poll.

But no accent is sexy when it’s strong enough to crush a beer can. Which means not all accents are created equal.

It’s estimated that there are nearly 7,000 languages on earth. That’s nearly 7,000 different ways to traipse clumsily through the English language -- or to sex it up like a Justin Timberlake song wrapped in chocolate cleavage.

Which begs our list of the world’s sexiest brogues. Some of you may have a legitimate case for inclusion in the top twelve. Others -- we’re looking at you, Vietgermans -- do not.

Our also-rans included Putonghua (especially when Taiwanese women speak it in gentle tones), Australian (as appealing as warm Foster's to some, tantalizingly exotic to others) and Japanese (the language of repressed salarymen is also strangely designed for pillow talk).

Feel free to state your objections and/or rain your accolades in the comments section below or on our Sexiest Accents Facebook Poll.

Because when it comes to accents, there are no absolutes. Except that Bronx English is absolutely horrible.

12. Argentine

The bad news: she finds your bad breath and dirty elbows repulsive. The good news: it sounded totally hot when she told you.

Famous tongues: Fernando Lamas, Gabriela Sabatini

A historical refuge for Spaniards, Italians and Germans, the hyper-libidinous South Ameripean melting pot of Argentina has cultivated a proud, pouty tone. With its own pronunciation of Spanish letters (“ll” sounds like “shh”) and its own words (“you” is “vos”), this is a dialect that’s hard to get. (Or at least plays that way.)

Sounds like: A tightly tuned guitar of G-strings strummed by a lamb shank

11. Thai

He not only floats like a butterfly, he speaks like one, too.

Famous tongues: Tony Jaa, Tata Young

With five tones comprising their native speech, the traffickers of this often fragile accent turn any language into a song of seduction. Thai is largely monosyllabic, so multi-beat foreign words get extra emphases right up until the last letter, which is often left off, leaving the listener wanting more. (Or at least asking “Huh?” lustfully.)

Sounds like: R-rated karaoke

10. Trinidadian

If their accents don't seduce you, their mon boobs will.

Famous tongues: Nikki Minaj, Billy Ocean

For fetishists of oddball sexuality, the Caribbean island of Trinidad offers an undulating, melodic gumbo of pan-African, French, Spanish, Creole and Hindi dialects that, when adapted for English, is sex on a pogo stick.

Sounds like: A rubber life raft bobbing on a sea of steel drums

9. Brazilian Portuguese

She screams, she scores!

Famous tongues: Alice Braga, Anderson Silva

Perhaps owing to its freedom from French influence, the Brazilian Portuguese accent has a more colorful, puerile flair than its coarser European counterpart. The resulting yowl of drawn-out vowels reveals a flirty freedom of spirit that sounds like a permanent vacation.

Sounds like: The near, then far, then near again hum of a low-wattage vacuum cleaner that runs on dance sweat

8. U.S. Southern

Y'all, we love it when y'all call us y'all. Especially when y'all are wearing orange chaps.

Famous tongues: Matthew McConaughy, Britney Spears

There’s nothing sexy about being in a hurry, and you could clock the growth rate of grass with the honeyed drawl -- less Tea Party, more “True Blood” -- of a Southern beau or belle.

Sounds like: Molasses taking a smoking break

7. Oxford British

"Down to your last pair of socks then, what?"

Famous tongues: Hugh Laurie, Sienna Miller

Authoritative. Upright. Erudite. Scholarly. Few accents promise the upward nobility of the Queen’s English. It’s a take on the language that sets hearts devoted to James Bond and Hermione Granger aflutter. And, should the speaker fail to slake your most wanton desires, eh, at least you’ll learn something.

Sounds like: A crisply ironed shirt playing a harp

6. Irish

Just lay off the leprechaun jokes and you'll be fine.

Famous tongues: Colin Farrell, Andrea Corr

Valued slightly more in men than in women, the Irish brogue is a lilting, lyrical articulation that’s charming, if not exotic. Fluid and uplifting, it can swing from vulnerable to threatening over the course of a sentence, restoring your faith in the world again … right before it stabs you with a broken bottle top.

Sounds like: A marauding pixie

5. Nigerian

Some Nigerians are actually worth giving your bank account information to.

Famous tongues: King Sunny Adé, Omotola Jalade Ekeinde

Dignified, with just a hint of willful naiveté, the deep, rich “oh’s” and “eh’s” of Naija bend the English language without breaking it, arousing tremors in places other languages can’t reach. Kinda makes the occasional phone scam worth the swindle.

Sounds like: The THX intro with teeth

4. Czech

Smoky eyes? Czech. Intrguing history? Czech. Meat-flavored accent? Czech.

Famous tongues: Petra Nemcova, Jaromír Jágr

Like Russian, without the nettlesome history of brutal, iron-fisted despotism, Czech is a smoky, full-bodied vocal style that goes well with most meats. Murky and mysterious, the Bohemian tone is equal parts carnal desire and carnival roustabout.

Sounds like: Count Dracula, secret agent

3. Spanish

"¿Número tres? ¿Qué clase de idiota eres?" Ah, no one rejects us so hotly.

Famous tongues: Javier Bardem, Penelope Cruz

Sensual and beckoning, but with the passion to unleash hell kept just barely restrained, Castilian is like a dialectic Hoover Dam. But then there’s the lisp. Tender, vulnerable and cute as a baby’s hangnail -- no one owns the “th” sound formed by tongue and teeth like those who speak the language of Cervantes.

Sounds Like: An outboard motor on Lake Paella

2. French

Even when they pout it sounds good.

Famous tongues: Sophie Marceau, Jean Reno

The demotion of this perennial prizewinner of global brogues to second place may illustrate the declining sexuality of Old World petulance. Still, the come-hither condescension and fiery disinterest of the French tongue remains paradoxically erotic.

Sounds like: A 30-year-old teenager

1. Italian

Even when bathing in a fountain, a romance language is a romance language.

Famous tongues: Monica Bellucci, Alessandro Del Piero

Raw, unfiltered and as grabby to ears as its president is to rears, the Italian accent is a vowelgasm that reflects the spectrum of Italic experience: the fire of its bellicose beginnings … the romance of the Renaissance … the dysfunction of anything resembling a government since Caesar. Insatiable, predatory and possessive, this is sex as a second language.

Sounds like: A Ferrari saxophone

- CNN

Psalm 23

Psalm 23

The Lord is My Shepherd = That's Relationship! I shall not want = That's Supply! He maketh me to lie down in green pastures = That's Rest ! He leadeth me beside the still waters = That's Refreshment! He restoreth my soul = That's Healing! He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness = That's Guidance! For His name sake = That's Purpose! Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death = That's Testing! I will fear no evil = That's Protection! For Thou art with me = That's Faithfulness! Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me = That's Discipline! Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies = That's Hope! Thou annointest my head with oil = That's Consecration! My cup runneth over = That's Abundance! Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life = That's Blessing ! And I will dwell in the house of the Lord = That's Security! Forever = That's Eternity! Face it, the Lord is crazy about you. Send this to people you are crazy about. I thought this was pretty special, just like YOU!!! What is most valuable, Is not what we have in our lives, but WHO we have in our lives! ' Do not ask the Lord to Guide your Footsteps if you are not willing to move your Feet' Peace. THIS IS PRETTY NEAT, 93% won't forward this Even though you can't see Him, GOD is there for you. When Jesus died on the cross, he was thinking of you! If you are one of the 7% who will stand up for him, forward this with the title 7%. 93% of people won't forward this. How SAD is THAT??