Jokes for Thursday September 1, 2011

A Bear I want to be a bear...... If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that. Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too. If you're a bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you are sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that. If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that. If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat. Yup...... I want to be a bear!

Skeleton I was helping a buddy of mine, who was an orthopedic surgeon, move to his new office, and using my car to help transport some of his office equipment. I had decided to position his somewhat fragile display skeleton strapped into the back seat of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat... At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became quite obvious. I looked across and explained, "I'm delivering him to a doctor's office." The other driver leaned out of his window. and commented, "I hate to tell you, but it looks like you may be a bit too late!"